At last!

Thursday night

A real quickie this will be . . . BUT, in this case, length is of no importance!  None at all, the only thing that matters here is . . . well, I suspect you may have already noticed? or maybe not  . . . Anyway, I hope I'm not speaking too soon, and even if I am, and this is short lived, at least I will have shared this moment of feeling better with you all . . . And why wouldn't I? I've shared enough of my misery . . . I should maybe try and strike some kind of balance, har, har.

I've started my major winter purge of the lounge in preparation for the tree and trimmings . . . Yes, I finally experienced one of my manic, marathon 14hr non-stop days, that I've missed so much . . . O how I've missed them. I didn't get as far as doing the tree or trimmings, yet, but purge I did. I emptied the whole room, rearranged the furniture so the bay window area is ready for the tree, mended the outdoor icicle lights, cleaned the windows . . . totally stripped, scrubbed and patchoulied this room ready for its tinsellating tomorrow. I'm actually, seriously, shockingly, looking forward to tomorrow . . .  Did I write that?

I will put up some pictures soon.

Hamper G was at home from school today with cold/cough/earache/slight temperature and I think Geekster will be joining her tomorrow too. Poorly tortoises. They're both good patients. I had to re-schedule this morning's therapy for next Tuesday.

Anyway, sod that . . . I've got tomorrow to get on with and if I'm getting this right, this new concept . . . It's up to me, to a degree, how tomorrow goes . . . if this is so, I think tomorrow could will be a good day for cleaning, fixing more fairy lights, bleaching, lighting candles and oil burners, flinging silver streamers over anything and everything, adding baubles and beads, taking a few pics . . . I really can't wait.

I'm going to bed and keeping a firm grip on this.

Saturday night!

I can't believe it's half ten, I've only just sat down (since this morning, not since Thursday!). I did keep a firm grip on my well overdue motivation and on this new feeling on having some control. I also kept a steady eye on the elusive, flickering light in the distance, it settled and shone until I could see it, no matter where I was looking. I finally finished the lounge today. Yesterday was full of distractions as Hamper G and Geekster were home from school poorly. They're both much better today. So, it's onto the kitchen tomorrow; windows, oven, cupboards, drawers . . . No stone will be left unturned.

I must admit I'm getting quite excited now. I am making an effort to focus on really, literally, taking one day at a time and reminding myself, often, that I have choices and that I can, to an extent, make this day a good day . . . I know it sounds simple and last week it would have meant nothing to me . . . But just for one fleeting moment somewhere on Thursday it did make sense to me . . . and I kept on going back to the idea and trying to keep a hold on it, to build on it, nuture it. Making myself believe it. And that's when things began to improve. How relieved am I? I'm sure you can imagine.

So, once again, I reckon tomorrow will be a productive day. A good day, leaving me feeling that I've taken some control, made some decisions and acheived a few, albeit small, goals. I believe it will.

OK, off to bed. Thanks to all of you for being here with me and for encouraging me.  All of the words and love that I find here mean so much to me.