O shit how have I gone from pancakes to getting clean in four lines. That's barely an intro is it? But whilst I'm here I'll just explain briefly what I mean . . . although it's probably obvious even to a non-addict what I mean.
The guilt didn't come from them "going without" . . . O no they never went without . . . Quite the opposite. Never even missed a Pancake day! The guilt was all within . . . As in, if they had (God forbid) missed a pancake day or lived through an other such life-wrecking trauma . . . In my mind it would be blamed, in my head, on me being an addict . . . It couldn't be simply about not having any Nutella until tomorrow . . . and even if it was then that would be because I was an addict. How dare you not have Nutella in a house with three kids? Yes I bet I know where that Nutella money went . . . And the Jif lemon . . . Call Social Services this is tantamount to abuse!
Ok you get the picture. . . and this applied from pancake day through birthdays right round to Christmas. I had to get it right every time. No room for compromise. So . . . Gone. No more . . . No more guilt. No more compensation. I can relax and put Pancake day off for a whole day . . . and guess what? . . . No-one gave a damn ;-)
Other than that I have a dental appointment tomorrow to have impressions taken . . . Well you can imagine the horror films that I'm dreaming up about that. Actually you probably can't unless you're as bonkers as I am . . . You see when you bite into those denture shaped troughs full of fast drying gunk there is a lot of (fast-drying) gunk-displacement and where does it go? . . . down your throat, that's where . . . fast drying? . . . and there's not much you can say in the time its drying . . . Whilst the dentist counts, with his back to you . . . "Keep biting!" Seventy five . . . Seventy six . . . Have you ever tried to un-bite? impossible. Or say "Ermm . . . Excuse me, please? . . . I seem to be choking here" . . . Impossible.
I think I better change the subject as it's only twelve hours away . . . That's if I can. I suppose the less teeth you have the less (fdg) displacement occurs which is good news for me . . . I only have six top teeth . . . Yes, six . . . I best get those "before" photos done before it's too late. Geekster? camera? scanner? cables? . . . No news there then.
Quiet day today . . . Busy day tomorrow. I'm off to write my shopping list starting with Nutella . . . and pickled jalapenos for the savoury pancakes . . . Unless last years jars are still ok ;-)
Hopefully I will survive the dentist and be back tomorrow. Sweet dreams and sweet days x
