Rightio . . . Moving on to happier news.
Hamper G has done her first full week at school, they finish today for the Jubilee Bank Holiday and half term break. They were invited to go to school today wearing Red, White and Blue for their Jubilee party . . . or dressed as royalty. No, not twin sets and pearls. We managed to combine both and went totally over the top. I searched the town yesterday for a tiara and the only one I could find was in Monsoon . . . Quite! I'll get some pics later.
Talking of photos, I'm going to make an "All things Silverhip and I" post of the old photos I found. I will link to it on the Archive page. I did intend to make one at the time but I'd lost the photos . . . I 've found them now; there are some corkers. O Yes. It was 1979 though so we must make some allowances. Hmmm.
I'm going to put up a music page, where I link to all the tracks I've posted so far and any more that become relevant, or even irrelevant but enjoyable. I'm pretty sure I'll be the only one using this page . . . I've rarely met anyone who totally shares my taste in music.
I've had some new readers here from Morocco, Pakistan and Bangladesh. So hello to all of you and thanks for reading. I wonder what brought you here, I would love to know.
The weather has changed; the Jubilee celebrations are going to be a wash out. Now that is a shame . . . We've had a week (ish) of beautiful sunshine and clear blue skies. If only the sunshine could just last a few more days for the street parties and celebrations . . . Maybe. Maybe the forecasts are wrong. We'll see. I'm seeing grey skies right now.
I'm almost done writing Higgins part three . . . It's been a difficult one that one. Although it only covers a few months of my life, somethings; many things, happened in those few months that I can't write about yet . . . maybe another time. I'll be glad to move onto my years in France . . . returning to Higgins (part four) after six years of, mainly, happiness in France. Not settled happiness though. O No, none of that. I'm only just finding that now! and loving it.
I'm off to fetch the scanner and old photos, bring the washing in; it looks like rain, and have another clean day. Ten more hours, I know I can do it.
Thanks to everyone reading here. Enjoy the old photos and I'll post a picture of Queen Hamper G later on tonight, Geekster permitting.
Just a quickie whilst I'm thinking. I know we count "cleanliness" in days . . . But I didn't use for one day out of seven, I used for one hour out of seven days. There, that ups the percentage of clean time. I like that. That's all folks. Take care and Love to all x
I can't wait to see the pics of Queen Hamper! May I ask how old she is? I was thinking 5 or 6 but I'm probably wrong. It's so difficult for me to guess ages of children and adults just by looking. It's wonderful that she's enjoying school. I registered my son for preschool but then found out that there's a selection process he has to go through. Only 18 children will get into the program. The screening is in two weeks so we'll see then. He may end up being home with me for another year. That wouldn't be so bad but I know he's going a bit stir crazy.
ReplyDeleteWe've been having some crazy weather here too. This morning I stepped out and it's finally cooled down a bit. The past two days have been unbearably humid.
Yes, I think 7 days with only one hour of using is HUGE! Day by day, step by step...you're getting there.
Sending smiles...xo, jenn
JJ, she's 5. Geekster has gone out with his phone/camera so maybe tomorrow I can get her to dress up again and take the photos.
DeleteI hope your "little man" gets a place in preschool, they really benefit form the socailising aspect. Hamper cried every morning for the first two weeks, and sometimes looks as though she's about to cry even now (week 3) when I leave her . . . But as soon as I've left, she is fine.
Yeah its gone cold and grey here again . . . hopefully, not for long. Love and smiles to you too x
Looking forward to those dress-up photos!
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing very well. I had no idea the high lasted only an hour. What a rip off! LOL I wonder - once you've used again - isn't it harder to not use again? Or does the urgency remain the same over a week? If so, then I suppose we really have to get you past that particular weak spot and on to a little longer where you won't feel it quite so much. Has anyone ever made a graph showing the declining degree of wanting to use? I realize everyone is different and times of stress would skew it but there must be a vague idea out there of how long it takes to reach the next plateau. But maybe the one day at a time is easier than the big picture. Still, I would like some small goals to gauge my progress as in - hang on a day at a time until day 10 and it will be a bit easier - then hang on a day at a time until day 30 and it will be easier again - that sort of thing. Because if you knew that day 10 would likely have you in a slightly different place, maybe you could get through day 7 without using even if it were stressful. (I know for eating - it's 3 days, then easier again sometime after that and then, after 6 weeks, I couldn't care less about eating at all - it's those 3 days that are torture)
Hi Jeannie . . . Well I suppose it varies depending on how much one uses, the quality of the gear and how long one has been using. I wouldn't even call it a high anymore. The effect I was looking for on Monday was to numb my anger/feelings . . . and it did.
DeleteYes, the effect does last longer than an hour, you're right there. I meant I only spent an hour actually "using" as in smoking it . . . It was just a silly way to make myself feel better about it.
From what I hear at N/A from folk who have been clean for many years, the urge to use can be there at any time; not the need to use but the urge.
I would say after 5 or 6 days, the battle doesn't seem quite so constant. Some days I can totally forget about it . . . but then as you say, stress can skew this, also triggers can bring on the "want".
I find after I've relapsed, even for one day (or one hour!) the first day without is the hardest. Once I have proved to myself that I can do one clean day, with it being just for today, I can do any number of days . . . Until, for whatever reason, I can't.
I get what you're saying though, if I were to be told that after 15 clean days something would "click" and it would be pushed to the back of my mind . . . That might help me to do the fifteen days; albeit one day at a time.
Yes, good questions there Jeannie . . . I don't know the answers but I'll give it some thought.
Thanks x
Lovey!!! The Jubilee sounds like it's going to be fun and I hope the weather holds out for you guys.
ReplyDeleteAre you still making it to your NA meetings?? I had a phone S-Anon meeting yesterday. Maybe you could give that a whirl to help get you past this bump (yes, I said bump) in the road? I remember how cheesy those slogans sounded when I first heard them but, looking back now, they really do work, Lovey. Please keep them in mind if you can. It's progress, not perfection - you'll do fine, just keep on working =)
Hi Lovey . . . All the forecasts are saying rain but they could all be wrong, let's hope so.
DeleteI think you might have missed the previous post, I did post two together pretty much; yes I still go to N/A, but I couldn't go last night.
I know what you mean with the slogans . . . The cynic in me starts to think it's all brainwash by slogan . . . Of course, I know its not but that's the part of me that still rebels. Silly girl ;-)
It is progress Lovey and that's what counts. Thanks for being here, I enjoyed your Senior post x
You are doing so well. I love that Hamper G is happy and settled, doesn't it make everything easier when the ones we love are happy. And I have looked at those cool old photos of you and Silverhip. Most Excellent! I can so relate, I was a total hippy in the late 70's, but I went all muslin dresses and slave sandals, and I never left home without painstakingly crimping my hair into huge proportions! Keep them coming.
ReplyDeleteKG xxx
Kiwigirl . . . O Wow doesn't it just! What a difference.
DeleteHey, I'm glad you enjoyed the photos. I didn't discover electric crimpers until I was leaving Silverhip; I used to wash my hair, make about fifty tiny plaits and leave them over night, then undo them on the bus on the way to work the next morning.
When I found crimpers I became addicted to them and unbelievably I still have my first pair from 1982!! Yes, they still work. I have some "crimped" photos to come, as I carried on crimping for years and, like you, wouldn't go out "uncrimped" . . . Or without way too much black eye make-up.
I would love one of those white cheescloth dresses again . . . I might go and look on-line for one (just for the garden!) I did love them. O, the memories.
Thanks for being here Kiwigirl, I sure will keep them coming! x x
Sorry about the rain. We have had it here as well. But we have no Queen or Diamond Jubilee. It must be a great thing to see. My mother's name is Elizabeth. Beautiful name.
ReplyDeleteYou are making such great progress. I think that if you had a sponsor who you could call when you get the urge to use, it would help. Just going to meetings is one thing but actually working the steps and committing to them is a whole other dimension.
Hi Syd, yes still lots of rain here. The garden is loving it.
DeleteNow Hamper G is at school, I can start getting the train during the day to City meetings. My local meeting is usually only four or five of us; there is not a suitable sponsor there.
I am looking forward to having a sponsor and working the steps . . . It's my main ambition for this year. I can see it will make a huge difference. I'm improving at sharing during the meetings.
sorry I'm behind in all blogs but I love the idea of your kids getting dressed up to celebrate the jubilee! so fun and so British!
ReplyDelete