Anyway sat here a bit frazzled . . . everyone else has finally gone to sleep . . . No one is watching "The only way is Essex" but its on . . I aint seen it before . The girls r having a slumber party (boy it looks fun) & asking each other what's the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for them . . .which got me thinking . . One of them, a silver bracelet I am still wearing 19 years later. From a beautiful, wild, impulsive, welsh boy who was ten years younger than me at the time . . .I knew he was gay (despite his constant denial) but I also knew we would be together for a while . . . . .For us to live together at the time meant him finding some work here. His skills were sailing & boat building . not much of that around where I was based at the time . . .so he took what was going . .a job in a dry cleaners with four middle aged women who knew everything about everyone in the town . . .what they dint overhear or get told, they worked out from the stains & odours on the customers clothes/sheets/cushion covers etc. Perish the thought. Poor lad. He was so out of his comfort zone in shirt.tie & a pair of too short polyester trousers we had managed to find in a second hand shop the day before, so he could start the job.First week's wages in poly pocket, with no thought of whether we needed any of the money for rent, food etc, he went straight to the jewellers on his way home and chose this bracelet. . .how sweet.
Four crazy, eventful,years later (when my desires for a "manly" man (see twat) got the better of me) I finally dragged him out of the closet . .we split, not painlessly but amicably, and he went to be with a lad he had fancied since he was eight!!. . they are still happily married! and he's still sailing. Ahh aint that nice?
(hopefully) this will follow some major changes that I want,need & intend to make during the next 16 mnths of my life.I will be 50 in 16 months and hope & pray I can make some changes by then. I dont have much confidence in the outcome of this which is not a brilliant start, but it is a start. . I'm bringing up 3 children alone, Sometimes I think I'm doing it well . . .other times not so well. Always I think in the back of my mind it will be different, better . . .when I grow up.
wot a gorgeous story...you are not gonna believe this but i too fell for a beautiful impulsive welsh boy in my youth who also turned out to be gay and same desires caused our split..!but last i heard he was living in wales on an enormous script,not so happy ending there?! but fond memories,thanks for bringing them back.And you seem to be riding a magical wave,i hope it brings you to a lovely place..xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteBless u Lovey. . .I do believe it . .we have already (since meeting in cyberspace chez the GW GW . . . .6 mnths ago, connecting, cheering each other up, supporting each other, etc through messaging)found so so many parallels in our lives. Ok not quite 9 am. Just logged on to check "my new baby". This is honestly how it feels, except a whole lot easier . . Imagine if/when I get nasty comments?? Ok "someone wants something" . . .whats new pussycat? back later. Love as always x
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