Geekster is in France, so that's one less. Stropster stayed away yesterday after coming in from work at lunch-time (half day on Saturday) to no hot water, no usual Saturday lunch-time fry up, no cup of tea waiting and to top it all a blocked loo so he couldn't have the shit that he'd been "holding in" all morning at work. O dear. He punched a hole in the bathroom door, pretty much the only door that was intact in this house, called me a few names and went to his Dad's. Mothers are not allowed to be ill!? What did I think I was doing not going to the shop to get gas for hot water & food? "I bet you've sat there all morning on that fucking laptop?" . . "you're not ill . . you're fucking lazy!" . . and so on . . and so on. I couldn't be arsed telling him I'd spent all morning getting things ready for Geeksters trip to France, why should I explain myself to him? I'm his mother, not his employee. The toilet is still blocked , I have blisters from trying to unblock it (council bloke stylee with a mop, a mop that is kept for this purpose alone) for over an hour. It is a long ongoing story for another day. I have given up . . . Hamper G and I are using a baby's potty, which is all the same to her. I wont elaborate on how it is for me. Then I have to "bag up the bob" doggy stylee & put it in the bin . . . Give me strrrrrength. Then, just when I don't need it . . . we get a prison visiting order!!
Hamper G's Dad got moved back to a higher security prison 6 months ago. Prisoners usually go the other way. They might await sentencing in a Category A prison, begin their sentence in a Cat B (depending on the type/seriousness of the crime) and hopefully move to a Cat C or eventually even D (open prison) throughout their sentence. This, of course, all depends on their behaviour, attitude to fellow inmates and screws & results of drug testing! Need I say more?
Until the move six months ago we had been going to see him every month. In the new prison you need photographic ID. I hadn't got any . . Six months later I receive my National ID card, E-mail him to tell him & promptly (yesterday ) receive a VO with a letter saying how excited he is to see us both, I will have to go this week. I can't say I've got cold . . I can't make it. How lame would that sound? Can u imagine . . . I can.
I have to get ready and go out. No, I don't want to, every muscle in my body is aching, along with my head and my ear . . I have taken 35ml/mg of methadone. Its only 10ml more than usual. I've gotta try something . I know what I would like to try . . . but I will resist.
Just as I wrote that, I received a text from Stropster . . . Sorry about yesterday, sorry I didn't text last night to say where I was, sorry I didn't come back to say goodbye to "Geekster" . . . and . . . Any chance of that fry up??? Wait till I tell him he has to use a potty!! :-) Here we go. Back later. Love sent out to anyone reading this "Sunday morning moan" x
Awww,sorry you feel so bad...I think you've shown amazing resolve.At least you started and you are learning..If u need to up your script to get over a dangerous cold then do,you need your strength to do this..bit by bit..Glad stropster came to his senses..!Much love xxxx
ReplyDeleteIts just so annoying that as soon as I decide to try . . . Bang! go my plans. More annoying, in fact I'm sat here fuming, is that my Mother is helping at the her church playgroup all morning and wouldn't even think to offer to take Hamper G. And my Brother & his wife (yes the ones who want children so badly) both have monday off work. This is my family. These people are "Christians". They will go to any lengths to help people in the church. I know that God's family should be just as important to them as biological family . . but I grew up watching my parents make so many mistakes - resulting in a broken family, broken hearts & broken lives - on the basis of this teaching. It infuriates me. I won't recover unless I rest. Yes they've offered to make me a Dr's appt to get anti-biotics & steroids to protect my lungs but its no use if I can't rest. Sorry for ranting. I could do a whole post on THAT rant . . . Hope things good with you and yours lovey. With love x
ReplyDeleteAnnie; sorry for including my rant in an answer to your comment. It was inappropriate. I should have given it its own rant space. I was just so angry at the time :-( I sent u msg on FB last night & will write again soon. Thanks for all your encouragement & advice. I proper appreciate it. Big hugs n love to you x x x
ReplyDeleteps. When I'd finished that rant earlier, I said and almost typed. . .C'mon God if they are so close to you, have a word please.
ReplyDeleteAn hour later my mum text to say she would have Hamper G for an hour after lunch. Hamper ended up staying there till 5pm!!! unheard of, never before. Incredible.
ugh, very disrespectful of your son. "Kids these days." Can't Imagine how bad kids will be in a couple of generations.
ReplyDeleteEyelick; Yeah lack of respect is the big one . . . and yet other times he is such a sweetie. I'm glad that I'm an "older" mother really and have heaps more patience than when I was younger . . . Otherwise I would have clashed big time with him. I'd definitely stick to cats if I were you :-)
ReplyDeleteMom waited til she was 30 to have kids. She said when she was younger, she had too many impatience & anger problems. In said younger days, once when she was angry at the dog for digging up her garden, she found herself holding a shovel over her head, about to bash poor doggie's head in! She said that made her realize she had some issues she needed to work on. (She did once throw a book at me when eye was about 8 because talking too much was interrupting her Tetris game & made her lose. It hit me in the face, but that wasn't her intention. Haven't really seen her do anything else of the sort.)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely sticking to cats though.
Eyelick; Very wise of your mother to work on these issues before having children. My parents (and their parents) both had anger/violence issues. It still proper pains me deep when I see a child (however naughty) physically afraid of an angry adult. I have gone to great lengths not to hit/smack my children. God knows I have come very close. But I was determined to try and break the cycle. Hope things are good with you :)
ReplyDelete