I didn't really feel like going. It had already been a long day . . . Bu-ut despite my head getting a bit muddled with reading and hearing varying opinions of N/A in general, I know I'm getting something good from going there. If I wasn't so sure, maybe I wouldn't have gone. But I am sure. So I went. Simple.
It was good. I felt stronger and more positive on my way home than I did on my way there . . . What more can I ask. What more can I say.
Obviously not a lot, as that last paragraph was written about half an hour ago now. So I might as well do a general update then call this post "an update".
I have an assessment appointment on Monday with the surgeon who thinks he's going to remove my top teeth. I will go ahead and allow him to assess . . . But then I will
I've upped my "lose the extra weight, build some good muscle and get fit" game. As I use this blog as a diary of sorts, I'll make a note of where I started, where I am now . . . and then do weekly updates for
I have reduced from one or two bags of Heroin a day/night, to one a week. Not a planned one a week. An accidental one a week . . . OK, of course I know no-one takes Heroin by accident. I mean I don't set out on that day to use. I'm not even sure why one day has to be different to the other six days of the week . . . . But I will find out. I dare say it has something to do with me thinking that I know best . . . When I so obviously don't. But, as they say, Rome wasn't . . .
Sur Ren Dur. (Dur!)
So . . . from where I'm perched at the minute, on the bottom of the bed, I'd say it's mostly looking good. Including the bed . . . Goodnight all you good folk. Sweet days and dreams be yours and mine.
'I felt stronger and more positive on my way home than I did on my way there . . .' Yay. That is wonderful. And the only reason to go.
ReplyDeleteYou have made huge strides, and should be feeling so proud.
As I am. As we in the blogosphere are.
The E'sC . . . Morning! I'm half way through my coffee made with semi-skimmed(!) milk. I've never bought that in my life!
DeleteYes, I thought that was a fine reason to carry on. So I will.
I'm feeling quite happy here. Thanks E'sC.
Sounds like N/A is helping. Good. I need to up my own fitness and lose weight. I try but when they say it gets harder as you age they aren't kidding.
ReplyDeleteYes Jeannie, I definitely gain some strength from being there.
DeleteGetting fit and losing weight does get harder as you age, and it takes longer to see the results . . . But I'm learning to be patient, among other things.
I didn't go to my regular meeting on Monday - I'd driven back from Wales for a lot of the journey through big rain showers and loads of spray - I wasn't feeling good - see my blog - I knew I wasn't well. So I didn't go to the meeting. Tuesday I battled on and had to throw the towel in. Wed I did go to work, then on the way home, lightening strike on the power supply and a long long train journey. I was tired etc. I went to my other regular meeting, I needed to, I left after an hour so wasn't there throughout but still went, listened, was reminded as ever of what is really important and felt a load better mentally if not physically.
ReplyDeleteWow . . . Sounds like a week and a half! I hope you're feeling better. I used to wonder why poeople who were clean/sober kept going back . . . but I can see why now.
DeleteIt's very encouraging and usually uplifting.
I had a chat with "leader" about the stuff that had upset me . . . I think he was surprised to find out how sensitive I am (!) hmmmm. Take care.
I'm so glad you went to NA and it made you feel better, Lovey. When I go to my S-Anon meetings I leave feeling comforted having been surrounded by people who get it and understand.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
Hi Lovey,
DeleteYes I did get a bit confused about it all . . . but the pros outweigh the cons . . . And they do say take what you like and LEAVE the rest. I've just gotta DO that. x x x
I'm glad you went back. Thank you for your very compassionate comment on my blog too. Good for you on the weight loss and lifting weights. You are doing so many good things for yourself. I am proud of you!
ReplyDeleteAnnette,
DeleteYes, I'm glad too. I'm going to a city meet on Sunday as well . . . For my mid week boost.
I'm beginning to feel and see the benefits of the hard work, It's slow progress at "our" age ;-) . . . I'm proud of you too. Thinking of and praying for you and your daughter often. x o x o x
Good luck on the teeth issue. Hope that goes well, I desperately need to go and get a few fillings, crowns and root canals, but so expensive here. There never seems to be enough money left over after paying the bills and eating! But good on you for doing some research, at least the dentist won't be able to fob you off with sub-standard treatment.
ReplyDeleteKiwigirl xo
Hi Kiwigirl . . . Yes I think I'm gonna end up having to have "private" dental treatment, which will cost 1000's, but at least it will look better. I need to find out if I can pay so much a week towards it. All the "would have been drugs money" can go on my teeth.
DeleteI've done so much research . . they might think I'm a little bit bonkers! I can cope with that. Take care Kg xoxox
Dear Bugerlugs,
ReplyDeleteLet's not dwell on the drug thing for to long, 1 a week,fucking ace, you've spent your tenner now enjoy it! I may contradict myself on my blog shortly but "that's life"
Teeth thing, All my top teeth are on a plate except for three at the back & I am completely happy with them. The removal of the 2front teeth however was unpleasant to say the least, my dentist gave me at least 4 double shots of novocaine & then said I would just have to grin & bear it. My thoughts are with you Karl X
Hey Karl . . . Yes I try to think that, once I've spent the tena . . . But then I also try and beat myself up too, as I know how one a week can quickly become Seven a week!
DeleteThey were hoping to take all remaining top ones out under general anaesthetic . . . But I keep reading that they would do better to leave my roots in for bone structure. Also if I check out a private dentist I might be ok to have permanent implants, which I would prefer. I don't want to rush this. I want to make sure I know all of the available options. And cost!
You too, take care x x
Thanks for your comment..yes, we are all vulnerable inside, especially us tuff ones..;)
ReplyDeleteYou know my son has been trying to get completely clean (no subox, no xanax, no alcohol, etc) for 12 years. He has long periods, and lots of short periods, of being clean. Whenever he slips up, he trys to get right back on track. He knows one hit is too many, and a thousand is not enough. So he keeps trying like hell. I do understand. Keep trying, Bugs. That's a good thing.
PS my daughter used to paint before the baby. She is a really gifted artist, but no time these days. I hope you go back to it, I would love to see your pictures.
Hi Lou,
DeleteYep I'll keep trying for sure . . . AND some more. This is the closest I've ever been to clean and I'm not about to let go of it. I feel so much better, I'm up to 320 skips a day now (1 set of; 4 x 80 (40 slow/40 fast)) . . . Progress, I love that word.
I'll put some pictures up on the artwork page, mostly drawn pre-kids. Once Hamper G is in school I should get time to do some more . . . along with re-decorating, gardening, skipping . . . Coming back to life.
Bugs, when I think I don't need a meeting, that is when I really need to be there. I hope that the progress continues for you to be off the dope. It is progress what you have. Good luck about the teeth too.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I nearly didn't go tonight, Sunday 30th, I'm glad I did. I'm getting there for sure. Thanks Syd for reading and commenting
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