Friday 12 October 2012

Purple Daisies and Autumn leaves


Hey! . . . I've finally got some good news . . . No, not that good, but not bad. Definitely good, but not in the miracle category . . . why don't I just shut up about how good it is, or isn't and tell you. It's hardly worth the mystery . . . I just won something! I've never won anything, ever. Well, not that I can remember, maybe I'll have a little think about that later. Anyway, I was doing a small "top up shop" the other day in Tesco (I don't often use Tesco and have no idea why I did on that day) and I was talked into writing my name and address on a prize draw slip for a golden ticket . . . do you know what? I didn't even read what the prize was, I literally just scribbled my name and address to appease the insistent cashier and posted it in the box for the draw, it hardly even registered as done in my mind . . . Until Wednesday whilst I was doing my big weekly shop in Asda, I answered a call to an unknown number, which in itself is rare for me . . . It was a lady from Tesco blah blah blah . . . I was barely even listening, as I looked for which soft cheese was on offer . . . "Blah blah blah . . . But you did win one of the runner up prizes which is £100 of Tesco vouchers" . . . "I did what?" . . Yes, I did and they can be spent at Tesco on-line so I can use them towards Christmas presents for the kids. What a bonus eh? I was buzzing, I still am.

Now I've mentioned Christmas in October! let me tell you this; every year I promise myself that next year I will start my Christmas shopping early to avoid taking out a loan (a no interest loan, I might add, nevertheless it has to be paid back at £25 per week) and every "next year" I break my promise and take out a loan. Well not this year, I have started early, three weeks ago to be precise. Fortunately I had the good sense (or maybe it was Mum's idea?) to stash the presents at her house . . . as Hamper G has been off school with diarrhoea for two days now, poor little soul, her bum is burning and stinging, I know, too much information, and she's only eating toast and water . . .  Anyway, I have no doubt that if those presents were here, I would have let her have at least one of them today. Just as well they are at Mum's house . . . Talking of Mum, she's off to Australia alone in two weeks to visit my sister. Inspired by my recent weight loss Mum also managed to lose 20lbs this Summer and with this weight loss came a new wardrobe and a new lease of life, so that's her 80th birthday present to herself. Good for her! I'd love to think that I might be so physically active and mentally sharp at 80 years of age . . .  another 30 years! . . . Well, who knows eh? I'm all too aware of what would improve my chances, of course . . .


And talking of Australia, I was thinking of
The Elephant's Child the other day and the photographs of her wonderful garden, and other things, that she posts . . . She had posted some of a "Daisyish" flower in her garden that I recognised from my own garden. Most of the Summer flowers are almost over, but these two pots of daises have flowered over and over again. I presume this could be their last flowering, so I snapped some pictures of them which I will attempt to post here. I don't know if I could keep these flowers alive in the house over winter . . . does anyone know? I don't even know what they're called.


So, what else is good . . . O yeah, I got a phone call this morning with the result of last week's assessment. They have decided to offer me exposure therapy (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) for my phobia . . . I have mixed feelings about this; ranging from excited to terrified. I know it can work, and that I could rid myself of this debilitating phobia forever with some hard work and much discomfort, but part of me wants to hide and avoid it; to cancel the therapy and live exist alongside it, as I have for the past 48 years  . . . But I won't hide and when the first appointment comes through I'll go and I'll face it. And, what's more, I'll write about it. 

As most things seem to be going so well today, I'll try and bring those pictures over here . . . Geekster is still in France so I can't call on him to help. I'm missing my little Geekster but he'll be home on Sunday to his favourite roast dinner.  I dare say he'll have a few tales to make me laugh too . . . Possibly to do with his Dad's reluctance to part with money . . . which of course is why he has so much of it. Right, I'll stop myself there!

Yay! There's the Daisies. I must remember to take my phone/camera thingy with me next time I walk into town. The colours of the Autumn leaves really are something else. I'm sure the older I get, the more I notice, and appreciate, the detail and colour in nature. I must admit to feeling a tad optimistic today. I'm not sure why, nothing has changed in that area . . . maybe it's the double dose of Prozac.





O well, whatever it is, it's made for a lighter post than usual. I'm going to leave it at that; quit whilst I'm ahead as they say . . . Love and thanks to each one of you x x 

51 comments:

  1. Oh your flowers are beautiful! So happy to read about your big win! I would be thrilled!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Annette. I suppose £100 isn't huge but I certainly was thrilled. It's all a bonus, especially at this time of the year ;-)
      Thinking of you and your daughter, with love x

      Delete
  2. So happy that your post is so light and happy! I've missed it!

    Congrats on the win! I never win anything either...I'm still waiting for my million dollars. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sherry, yeah, I'm definitley have some "lighter" days at the moment . . . I've missed it too.
      I think relapsing in such a big way really did shock me and get to me, pulled me down. I've realised I'm not gonna find any fight whilst I'm down there. So I'm trying to make the most of where I am, in order to move forward . . . Let's hope it works eh.
      I might start doing the lottery x

      Delete
  3. What a wonderful post! Nice to hear you sounding lighthearted again. Congratulations on your fabulous win and getting an early go at Christmas shopping!

    I hope little Hamper G is feeling better soon, poor baby.

    Love and hugs from me....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Summer.
      As I said to Sherry, I think going backwards in such a big way really did stop me in my tracks and bring me down . . . I am still not happy about it (obviously) but I couldn't find any motivation whilst I was so low. I hope there is some just around the corner . . .
      Hamper G is much better thanks and was back to school today. Sending love to you Summer x

      Delete
  4. The vouchers are terrific news :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They certainly are. I keep saying I've never won anything, but then again, I never entered any competitions . . . Until now. Take care x

      Delete
  5. I am so glad that you are feeling better. That's a good win, I am a big competition enterer! Just this year I have won a trip for two to Tahiti and $1000.00 worth of home-handyman vouchers which I used for someone to instal a trellis on my deck and give it a coat of paint. I also win numerous C.D's and movie tickets. So be inspired, it could even become a new occupation "Professional Competition Enterer". You wouldn't need qualifications!

    Love and Best Wishes form Laura

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow Laura thats some good stuff! I remember your holiday win. Well, since I won the £100 vouchers I've entered two more on line; one for a PS3 for Stropster as he's worn his out and a Mac book pro (for me?) who knows, it's gotta be worth a try.
      I'm feeling lighter for sure and hoping to find some fight somewhere soon . . . I think this relapse shook me more than I realised and brought me right down.
      So, onwards and upwards! love sent to you Laura x x

      Delete
  6. I love your purple daisies.They are to pretty! This is a beautiful season and the air is so fresh!
    You won!That is terrific!I hope you keep entering contests..you never know...
    Toast and water is good for Hamper G.Some times I can move to ginger ale after a while.
    You inspired your mom to diet and she got all new cloths.Thats wonderful!Im still dieting but have problems resisting stuff.At night I want sweet stuff and I try not to buy it but I go nuts looking for any thing sweet before bed?
    Gekster is coming home tonight.He may be there already!
    Some guys are so tight they prob got the first penny they ever made.
    I went thru CBT. It was better then meds to me.I actually liked & enjoyed it. I was not alone but in a group and over one summer I felt very helped by it.The ppl where very re assuring.
    Happy week to you & family :D
    Ps that roast sounds delish!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bev, I get those cravings for sweet things of an evening too. I don't give it any thought during the day, but the later it gets the more I crave sugar . . . If I wake in the night, I almost sleep-walk to the biscuits and I find empty wrappers by the bed in the morning that sometimes I don't even remember eating!
      I like that saying about some guys having the first penny they ever made, so true . . . and the more they have, the less they spend, which of course, is why they have so much ;-)
      The roast was delish. There's not much gives me more pleasure than seeing three empty plates at the end of meal time . . . And kids that enjoy eating good food. Really enjoy it.
      I hope you have a good week too Bev, stay strong, with love x x x

      Delete
  7. it is the fickle finger of fate's way of giving you a boost!
    good for you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if it is, it sure worked! I was in need of a boost. Thanks John. . . 5 more sleeps x

      Delete
  8. Great news! Lovely bright and cheery photos - thanks so much. Sending you love and huge and strength xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mrs D . . . I think I might just about be crawling out of the hole that the relapse sent me into . . . I gotta find my boxing gloves now. Love sent to you x x x

      Delete
  9. Congratulations, Lovey! You deserve some happiness and some help for Christmas =)

    I wish I knew how to keep flowers from outside alive inside the house. I have some great flowers I'd love to bring in before our first frost kills them.

    What an uplifting post this was - so good to hear, my Lovey!!! xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lovey, sorry so long to reply. Things are not too good, but I've finally posted about it, which helps.
      I've kept up with your Blog and I'm sorry I've not commented . . . I just can't find any words some days. Much love sent to you x x x

      Delete
  10. Hey there mrs.lugs, Glad you upbeat and coming back stronger after your relapse, i know how soul destroying they can be.
    Im like you with christmas with leaving things till the last minute, but Ive made a good start on the stocking fillers already which im pleased with. With so many birthdays over sept/oct xmas is a real stretch!!
    Big hugs and love to you xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there, Again, sorry for the delay in replying, I've not been doing too well.
      I am still reading your Blog and I hope your date went well the other night. Just some days I can't find the words to comment. Take care, with love x

      Delete
  11. Happy to read your post this am - terrific spirit!! Those flowers are so so beautiful. We're approaching the days of bare trees and white grounds. Makes viewing flowers extra awesome. Keep looking UP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Dawn, yes the trees are almost bare here now . . . but the winter has it's own beauty.
      Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, but I've finally updated and found that words are coming more easily now. Thanks for being here Dawn x

      Delete
  12. I luuuurve daisies ~ especially the tiny white and yellow variety. In my childhood there used to be a TV ad for gardeners offering to cure their many lawn problems one of which was "daisy lawn". Yes! To rid the lawn of the beautiful little flowers ~ and of clover, too, which bumblebees love ~ and to make it all dull and boring.

    It's like the ads for men's hair products. When they're fool enough to portray a before and after the before ALWAYS looks better than the after!

    In my younger years I won a few "answers on a postcard" magazine competitions. One way I managed this was by pinching stacks of trendy advertising postcards for Camel Cigarettes etc. That seemed to cut a lot of ice with publications like The Big Issue and ID magazine...

    My Mum has won loads of prizes too. She used to take that magazine "Competitors' Companion" and won loads of stuff like an industrial silver microwave etc etc

    How are you? I hope you are surviving better than me!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what am i saying? surviving better than me? i felt crap yesterday but am doing fine today...

      what a difference a day makes!!!

      Delete
    2. what am i saying? surviving better than me? i felt crap yesterday but am doing fine today...

      what a difference a day makes!!!

      Delete
    3. what am i saying? surviving better than me? i felt crap yesterday but am doing fine today...

      what a difference a day makes!!!

      Delete
    4. Hi Gledwood, I'm sorry for not replying sooner, I've been lost for words for a while now but I have been keeping up with your blog and I finally posted today.
      Yes, one day can make a huge difference . . . even one hour somedays. Sending you love, as always x

      Delete
  13. Off to Rarotonga today with my Kiwiguy, so hope you doing O.K. and have nothing but good news when I get back.

    Love and Strength to you, from Laura

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Laura, I hope you had a great time away with Kiwiguy, I'm sure you did ;-)
      I'm so sorry for causing you concern, I just couldn't find the words to write . . . and something kept telling me that no one wanted to read it anyway. I know that is wrong and I should write regardless of those negative voices. I've finally posted today, so I will try to post something, even just one line, if this happens again.
      Thanks for being here and for caring Laura, it means a lot to me. Love sent to you x x x

      Delete
  14. Me again Bugerlugs.
    Just wanting to say how special and unique and kind you are.
    I been reading your archives tonihght.
    I hope you and family have a great happy peacefull Sunday.
    All my loveXoXOxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bev, I've finally posted. I have been keeping up with your Blog. I'm sorry I haven't been able to find the words to comment recently. I hope you know that I've been there in spirit. Love and hugs sent to you Bev x x x

      Delete
  15. YAY for good news!
    And go for it with the therapy! You never know, now might be the ideal time to get on top of it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Kim, I'm so sorry I've not commented recently on your Blog. I've read all of your posts though and thought often about you. You've had a lot to deal with lately.
      I finally posted today and I'm glad I did.
      I hope things are a bit easier for you this week. I feel bad about moaning when I think of all that you have to go through . . . I really do.
      Sending much love to you Kim, take care x

      Delete
  16. OI BUGERLUGS!! DESPERATE NEWS!!! DASH NON AUTUMN FRESH/WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT FABRIC SOFTENER IS CALLED NO LONGER EXISTS YOU NEED TO BUY BUY BUY EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON DOUBLEQUICKTIME!!! DASH? FLASH? FEBREZE? COMFORT? FUCKITWHAT'S THE BLOODY NAME LENOR!!!! I KNEW I'D GET THERE EVENTUALLY.........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Plenty here Gledwood. They did try to get us on to infusions a couple of years back, but I've not seen much of the stuff recently. Myabe it's a London thing?
      No, just Spring fresh blue lenor all the way!
      Take care x

      Delete
  17. yeah NO!!! you cannot get lenor except in that special fragrances and 4x or 7x as fresh, but the bog-normal version is no longer anywhere to be found in London Town which is dastardly news for Lenor users all over the country!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. How did I miss you posting. This morning in the shower I was thinking 'I'm a bit worried, its been a while...', and here you are. I am thrilled with your good news. That would have to help heaps. Less happy with mention of the C word. I would like to have finished my shopping, but I am barely started. I have everything crossed that you finally get on top of that phobia.
    The daisies? Here one of the names they go by is African Cape Daisies, and they are very, very hardy. And a lovely splash of colour.
    Sending a zillion good wishes as always. Oh, and SP is off to the hospital today for a day procedure which will tell us what our next steps are. We hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi The Es C, I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to reply to you . . . And to write a post. I've struggled to find any words in the last few weeks, but having forced myself today, I seem to have got over that hurdle . . . hopefully.
      I hope The SP's procedure went well and that the next steps are not too daunting.
      I haven't managed to comment on your Blog either, recently, but I am still reading and enjoying your photos.
      Thanks for being here and for caring. Sometimes I pay too much attention to the negative voices in my mind.
      I hope life is treating you both kindly. Much love sent to you x

      Delete
  19. Be sure to spend those lovely vouchers on top grade conditioner. I'm telling you THE COUNTRY'S GOING DRY ~~ soon we will be washing our dishes in pigswill like the middle ages and beating our clothes out in mountain streams!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey BugLugs I borrowed your comment from Beverly kind of by accident while lifting my own (because I couldn't be bothered to think up an entire post ~ top tip when stuck for inspiration just rehash old crap you've said at other people's ~ that's what I do. Not that I'm implying you talk crap but you know what I mean (well I hope you do).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Buggalugs howzit going and why sucha long time no post?

      I've posted up a little essay written by the famous Dr Kraepelin from Munchen in Germany (but it's in English)

      would you mind having a poke through?

      http://gledwood4.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/what-its-like-to-go-crazy-dr-kraepelin.html

      I'm just wondering does your manic depression resemble this in any way eg thoughts running off and skedaddling so they're constantly deserting you, like cockroaches suddenly exposed to the light after midnight in Andy Warhol's kitchen...

      the Manic Depressive Insanity and Paranoia book does tend to harp on the more inconveniently severe end of the bipolar "spectrum" but does any of what I quoted mean anything much to you...?

      ukh I'm so sorry I have the brain of a footballer these days ~ I was going to say something of rivetting fascination to you but now have UTTERLY NO IDEA WHAT IT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN....

      Delete
  21. You lucky thing. I never win anything.
    Like Aussie, our summer is just starting in NZ and the blossoms and flowers are everywhere.

    You're right, it was a nice light post.

    Well done.
    (Hope Geekster doesn't bring back any snails for you to cook)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Twisted Scottish \Bastard.
      Yes it was a boice light post . . . and then a long break. I was lost for words for a while.
      I have been keeping up with your Blog and congratulations on the birth of your Grand-daughter! how lovely.
      I haven't commented much recently as, once again, I was lost for words but I'm hoping now that I've posted I might have crossed the barrier, as it were.
      Thanks for being here and I hope all is well with you x

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Hi Karl, I've just updated, finally . . . things are not too good, how about you? Take care mate x

      Delete
  23. What's going on girl friend? Even if you feeling like crap, just a little word will put all of our minds at rest that you are OK. Remember you will not be judged here, just let us know what's up. I just hope you have been too busy to post.

    Love from Laura xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Laura, as I said in my first reply, I will, in future, post just a line if need be, to say that I'm still here.
      I cried when I read this comment, and the follwing one.
      I am so sorry. Thank so much for being a friend, bless you x x x

      Delete
  24. Gettin' worried, Bugs. Hope you're doing okay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Summmer, I've finally posted. Things are not too good in the addiction area . . . you know how it goes. I read your latest post last night and felt very sad. I also look back at pre-addiction days with sadness and longing . . . but there's only me can change that . . . And I really feel totally out of control, like I can't change it.
      Anyway, thanks for being here Summer. Much love and many hugs to you x x x

      Delete
  25. Good news on the win. I'm not doing Christmas stuff yet. Way too early for me. We have to get through Thanksgiving first!

    ReplyDelete