I want to thank you ALL for your comments this morning, I read them over and over for reassurance and positive thinking and because it helps me to feel such caring and warmth from you.
I would love to answer them all individually, as per usual, but I want to tell you all the outcome. I would need to write the same thing over to all of you and I really am so tired.
I called my drugs worker at 8am and left a message asking her to call me back, which she did. She assured me there was NO new law or policy whereby they are obliged to report users with children to Social Services. They have always had the same policy; "A duty of care"; report if you feel the children are at risk, which, she added, is why I have never been reported to Social Services by any Doctor, drugs worker, Police worker or other professional that has known me in twelve years of using.
Eventually at 4pm a lady phoned me from Social Services. She said I had been referred by my GP as there was a concern that "after many years (!?) of only using methadone (!) I had gone back to using Heroin and the Doctor felt obliged to report the changes . . .
I won't bore you with the whole conversation. The GP had got the story completely wrong. I told the social worker the truth, the whole truth and . . . yes, you know the rest. I didn't have to tell her, but that's me, and I felt she should know just how wrong the Doctor was. Obviously she can check the details on my medical records or with my drugs worker if she doubts my story (sanity) . . . but I don't think she does. I mean why would I lie to say; "I've never had any long periods of only using methadone. I've pretty much used for twelve years solid and only had numerous 4-6 day clean sessions since February this year . . ."
". . . But also, that in twelve years of using and dealing with all kinds of professionals who have met the children and been to my home, I had never yet had a referral to Social Services".
I told her of my near-recovery and the recent events in Wales which had led to this anxiety and depression, well, you all know the whole story as it is, and that's exactly what I told her . . . I spoke for twenty minutes almost non stop and told her of the plans I had made to deal with the anxiety, phobia and depression and to get back to where I was pre-Wales.
She thanked me for my honesty and said it was quite clear that I was an intelligent (!), responsible and capable mother and that I was obviously doing everything possible to work my way through a difficult time . . . She was sorry that I had been caused further anxiety by this referral and as far as she was concerned the case was closed!! CLOSED!! Over. Filed and Finished.
I do feel better. Tired, but so much better.
I'm sorry I caused you concern and that I haven't replied to each individual comment . . . You all know how OCD I am about that one ;-)
I really can't thank you all enough for your support, your reassurance and encouragement. For your love and prayers. Also for believing in me. I honestly appreciate every single word that you took the time to write. I know I might have said this before but I consider you to be my true friends. That may well sound crazy . . . That's OK.
A quick spellcheck and I'm off to bed. I've rushed this post to let you know the outcome, so it might be a bit disconnected and repetitive . . . It doesn't matter.
I will sleep tonight.
Love and peace and a huge thanks to you all x
PS. I feel it is my "Duty of care" to give this GP some advice . . . I will, of course, keep you updated on this.