Saturday, 12 November 2011

The dreaded "D" word

Quote (me on Thursday) re; dentist visit, teeth, fear, etc "I am proper scared. If you saw my teeth, you would believe me. Once they are restored to their former glory, or as near as they ever get, I will post a before/after photo of how they are now  and . . .  blah blah"

HA, well there will be no "restoration", that was a tad optimistic of me, to say the least. So "as near as they will ever get to their former glory" is, in that case, now!!  They are a million miles away from it. Come on, no, this can't be so.

Another quote, me on Thursday on the same subject  "If it means removing the remaining teeth and having false ones, I will be mortified but if that's what it takes to smile again . .  blah blah".

Mortified was an understatement. If that's what it takes, I might not bother smiling again.

Being my ever-optimistic self I have found three four positives to the whole shkaboodle
  • It's only the top set of teeth (Big Wow Whopee-Doo)
  • I will be asleep when all the work is being done (ripping my remaining 6 teeth & 4 severed roots out)
  • I only need one more visit to the dentist for the impressions to be made.
  • I might  have to give up smoking to have a general anaesthetic due to my lungs.
At  the minute it all feels like a very bad nightmare. I was so looking forward to looking and smiling like my old self again. This morning I woke up feeling normal(ish) for all of 1/500th of a second before my stomach dropped as reality hit. He cannot/will not fix the remaining teeth and replace the two fronts crowns that I lost yonks ago. He said its not worth it, they wont' last (?) and it will end up this way . . . so let's go for it! Yeah right, I'm gonna end up dead one day too but I don't mind waiting. All very well for him to say. Being the honest twat that I am, I filled in the medical history truthfully including methadone and drug addiction. I hope this didn't go against me. It probably did. Usually does. If anyone reading has or knows someone who has had a good experience with false teeth, please let me know. Only positive things. I don't mean better blow jobs either, that's hardly me benifitting is it? I know enough of the negative. I started a pros and cons list but got too depressed with the amount of cons. I loathe the idea. I'm gonna post this and start a new post. I can't bear the thought of it. All because I was too scared to go for 12 years. Or because my last dentist went private. O well, it matters not why . . . tis what it is. I can't even type the "D" word let alone say it. I can say false teeth but I will not call it what the dentist called it. Arsehole.


  1. Well, I'm sorry you will be losing your teeth. It's hard - I lost one - the dentist had cancelled my appt to fix it but didn't reschedule and by the time I got around to it, it was too late. I was heart broken. I'm still thinking that one day, I'll get an implant - if I'm ever flush enough to splurge. My brother was addicted to Coke (the cola) which rotted all his top teeth - 2 of which had been capped for eons and were continually breaking off anyway. He is happy enough with his false teeth - which he's had for many years now - they are easier to take care of. Fit is important I think - and that changes over time as the gums shrink.

  2. Jeannie,
    Yes I was just sitting here fantasising about individual implants. If only. Fit is definitely important. He warned me the first set wont fit as I will be post op and swollen but I have to wear them for 3 months then go back for my proper set. O I can scarcely wait. He mentioned my gums had already receded which was another reason he didn't want to fix the teeth. Boo Hoo.

  3. I'm so sorry and understand that you're sad. But you'll be able to smile again, even if it's not your own teeth.

    I don't have any experience with false teeth, yet. So i whish i could cheer you up somehow with my knowledge :(

    I haven't been to the dentist for 8 years, before going again the first time a year ago (because i was in sooo much pain). All of my molars have to be removed. My front teeth are fine, except for the two upper teeth in the middle. Which i broke during a fall as a kid. They have a crown over them, but it needs to be redone. They might have to be removed entirely and then, i need fake ones for them. This is going to be my January experience, we'll see what will be done then *shudder*...

    LOL, i never really know if i should mention the methadone in my medical history. I'd rather not, but because there always is a paragraph below that says something like: "With your signature, you confirm that all of your data is correct." Because of that i fear i get fined if they find out that i lied.

    I know that must have been a real shock for you, but i hope you're feel a bit better!

  4. Natascha
    Ahhh Thanks lovey. Yes I do feel a bit better. I found a website late last night about young people (not that 48 is young - but I feel young) and Dentures . . . I've said it!! Anyway there was alot of positive stuff. Girls and lads as young as 22 and 27 saying most of the problems are with the bottom set. I only need top set and it seems after an initial "adapting" period these are good. Also that as I have 6 remaining front teeth, the impressions will be a very good copy of my natural teeth. I had hoped for this as I have big teeth and don't want to end up with a neat row of little teeth! So I feel a bit more positive. Now I'm worried about the anaesthetic. I'm so scared of hospitals and particularly anaesthetics!! Last time I had a general one for my first caesarean, they had to wait half an hour for me to stop shaking (literally shaking, my knees were uncontrollably banging togther)) and to start breathing normally again. What if I don't wake up? what if I'm asleep, paralyzed but can hear everything? or even worse feel everything? I decided to write "final" letters to everyone in case :-). . . Crazy I know. This is if they will let me have a general anaesthetic. If not then I have to face it all awake! O the things we think . . . I daren't worry too much in case the rest of my hair falls out. Fucks sake. Have a good day and thanks again x

  5. Thanks for your comments on my blog. They are always compassionate. You have had a lot of *shit* in your life and family. I'm glad you are still standing!

    My son was on suboxone for about 2 years, he never wanted methadone. For one thing, he had no way to get to the clinic everyday. Suboxone worked great while he wanted to stay off heroin. But of course if you want to use, nothing will stop you.

    I would take false teeth in a minute! They seem much easier to take care of.

  6. Lou,
    Thanks . . . I'm glad I'm still standing too ;-). . . my knees will probably be the next thing to go now I've said that. I'm still (slowly-lack of time)catching up with your blog so sometimes I'm wary of commenting as I don't know the whole story and might have missed something very significant.
    Suboxone is great, like you say, when someone is ready to be clean. It makes you feel clean, alert and puts you back in touch with emotions . . . but if one is not ready that can be too much too soon and leave a person raw, vulnerable and anxious. On the other hand methadone is a maybe too much like gear in that we stay blanketed, emotion free and numb. With that numbness comes a complacency which makes it difficult to feel strongly enough to want to change, if that makes sense. Difficult balance to find.
    I'm feeling much happier about the teeth and read on a website last night that I might experience difficulties eating for the first few months . . . well there's another bonus, I might lose some weight :-) Every cloud . . . Take care.

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  8. Hello,
    looks you're another one person, "encouraged" by Shane to create your own blog.(sorry for my disabled speech-English isn't my native language).Congratulations at that, now we are at least two "inspired".
    I'm over 40 yrs old girl/woman, and what took me half of that whole time (the second/later one, of course;)is dragging myself the path of opiate-addiction...Our stories might be completely different (I must to confess, I felt like a little girl reading your "CV" on Blogger-it really makes an impression-although the little, spoiled, easily impressed/easy to impressed person is that part of me I left behind already few times before, I believe...However, plenty different changes/"turning left"-"turning right" you have reported definitely makes you that MORE EXPERIENCED ONE;-))...Hell, that huge amount of men while now, when I'm typing I can feel on my back the same eyes I felt twenty years before...;))
    The teeth-oh, please, don't even let me to get into it: I don't think/find it much useful, but let you know, if Shane says he's born with H in his veins...well, I canot tell you that I was born with bad teeth, because newborns/babies doesn't have any, however, for some secret reason my teeth have had some specific nasty "junkies'-like" look long before I've even touched my first dope. Believe me or not, it was pretty useful/helpful by scoring for an unexperienced girl in strange cities/open-airs; it saved my ass frequently-not kidding, no matter how ridiculous does it sound...;))
    Take care, Darling, your pic tells me you're a pretty attractive woman/girl.

  9. Hi Nikita,
    Thanks for writing. I went straight to your blog . . . Its in Polish! Of course. I was so looking forward to reading it. I do read "Shane" but I was encouraged to write by "Gledwood's blog". I don't know how to one of those links with his name but he's the hamster in my followers box. Very good blog. Yes I totally agree with the teeth thing, my teeth have helped me score in strange places too. People don't think you are "under cover" cops with "junkie -teeth". When my brother was on the gear, him and his friends used to steal loads of expensive clothes then take them back to the shop to get the money back. They always sent my brother in to get money back as his teeth were perfect so the shopkeeper didn't suspect he was a junky doing a raise ;-) It makes a big difference to how people see/treat you. Sometimes I do little social experiments with them! It's very easy with most people being judgemental. It doesn't sound ridiculous to me, There is definitely a time to keep them hidden and a time to flash them! Who would think there are advantages to having "junkie-teeth"? Good to hear from you and I wish I could read your blog. ;-) Take care x

  10. Wow,i learn something new everyday...advantages to my crappy teeth..?will actually be trying that one out.THe advantage to your situation,as you have sussed,is that ,unlike me,you only need upper dentures.From my point of view you are doing so good..maybe even growing up a little.I seem to be stuck in complacency and sticking my head in the sand..Your writing is enlightening and food for thought,much love xxxxx

  11. Last dentist appointment was... 7 years ago! Was actually pleasantly astonished at having NO issues after a year of being on methamphetamine, a couple of years before that. Actually there was an issue - remaining wisdom teeth that don't even have enough room to grow in fully. Not surprisingly, that's still not been attended to. Even though they occasionally grow in a bit more and hurt for about a week. So happy that you were brave enough to go in and face this appointment! it's sad that people judge people based on their teeth, dad had a couple of missing ones for about a month or two between the time he had them removed and the time he was able to afford implants. It was probably awful for him, the way that people looked at him, the things he imagined that they assumed, especially being in management, he has never had an alcohol or drug problem and does not have bad hygiene. Angel's mom has full dentures after she was on methamphetamine for 15 years. At first, they gave her teeth that were too big, especially because she's 4'9 so anything big is going to look funny. Once she got the right set, they may hurt every once in a while, but for the most part, she got used to them, and no one would know that they are fake unless they were told so.

  12. Annie, Thanks lovey. Growing up eh?;-) well I'm definitely more determined to sort out some of this shit . . . but really its kinda started happening on its own, since I decided to make changes. Weird. Maybe thinking it all is enough? I won't be saying that when I'm forcing myself into the anaesthetic room on all fours. Now that is my biggest fear. Hamper G came in with us for Geekster's tooth out and for my visit so we had to be brave for her to see it's "ok" there :-/ She got her own appt in December for a pretend check-up. I told the dentist I didn't want treatment for her baby teeth but to get her used to going for check-ups. She seemed to treat it like going to the Drs, which I suppose it is if you've not had nightmares there. I almost got forced into a "night off" tonight, saying that I'm still waiting so . . . it could still happen. I'm not sure why it worries me so much as I could quite easily go to bed and sleep right now. Full jaw x-ray in morning, can't find much to fret over there, apart from the machine going wrong and "radiating" (?) me! Or . . . ok I'll stop there. Thanks for your encouragement Annie. Chat soon. Love and hugs to you and yours x x x