I coaxed him into giving the new dentist a trial. I felt like such a hypocrite as I badly need to go but have been put off by one too many horrors. I promised him I would not let this man hurt him. He checked the tooth and said come back at 12.40 for an extraction . . . so we did. I explained to the dentist how he had been scared away and that he badly needed his confidence restoring. So please don't hurt him. Then I sat and watched. He was very gentle and considerate. He struggled for some time with the tooth, wiggling then levering, eventually he got it out and seemed quite surprised at the size of it. It was a big tooth with a long root. Geekster was so brave. I am so proud of him. So impressed with the dentist was I that I registered us all as a family and booked appointments, brave in the knowledge that there was a 6 week wait. I booked Hamper G and Stropster together and me on my own as I don't want to pass my fear/hysteria on to the children. Just as we were leaving the receptionist says "O hold on we have a cancellation tomorrow at 10.30 am would you like that for yourself? Like it? For me? . . erm? . . . erm? . . . I'm not sure . . . O go on then. No point putting it off. So that's me tomorrow morning!! I am terrified and I mean proper scared. If you saw my teeth you would believe me. Once they are restored to their former glory (or as near as they will ever get) I will post a picture of how they are now and after. I was always complimented on my teeth. I took them for granted, with the view "Everyone has them, what's nice about teeth? what's so special about them? " twelve years of drug addiction later, looking back at pre-gear photos . . . I now know what was so special about them. I could weep.
So this is a massive step for me. I know its early days and I haven't actually had any treatment yet but I really want to be able to smile again. Proper smile. Not a "hiding the teeth" smile. If it means removing the remaining teeth and having false ones I will be mortified but if that's what it takes to smile again that's what I'll do.
I saw my drugs worker today and told her I was definitely coming to the end of the road with gear. She pretended to be interested, almost managed to sound pleased, asked a few questions that she has asked before and handed me my script. Its just as well that I'm not relying on her for any support other than methadone. I made an appointment with the optician for an eye test to get new reading glasses as one of the arms/legs has completely broken off of mine. How do they stay on? I twist the leg that is still intact into my hair from the side of my face back towards my ear then perch them on my nose! Genius! Made an appointment with Dr for next week regarding this drastic hair loss. Over half my hair has gone in the last month. Worrying. Possibilities are stress, menopause (God help
* I crossed clean out the next day. If I end up bald and bearded, with dentures I would have trouble staying clean.