It's fifteen day's since I said "no" and most days it doesn't even enter my head. The days when it taps me on the shoulder and says "hey you . . . remember me? . . you looking a bit stressed, you know I could soon change all of that for you" . . . I say "I'll sleep on it . . . and I'll let you know tomorrow" by which time things have always changed. It still amazes me that it has gone from my life. Just like that. Gone.
My teeth are being made. My feet are being mended. I spent three days worth of "would've been" gear money on various foot products and have sat for hours soaking, grating (!) softening, massaging and moisturising them. They needed it. It feels like I have someone elses feet on. It's the first time I have spent money on my feet!
I'm psyching myself up with each hint of Spring to get busy . . . I mean real busy. Not just day to day life busy . . . Gardening and decorating busy. I'm not sure when it will happen but I'm pretty sure it will . . . Well I hope it will. I'm waiting for the energy really . . . I'm not sure where I think ts gonna come from . . . The Spring maybe?
In fact, I am starting to "Enjoy some of the good things that Heroin replaced" which was one of my goals mentioned under "about me".
I honestly don't think this would have happened without this blog. It forced me to look at things and think about what I really wanted. It made me realise how desperate I was some days as I struggled to find words to explain how I felt . . . It led me to other bloggers and their stories of change and hope.
And . . . somehow it attracted some very caring, encouraging, understanding and beautiful people . . Yeah You!
I couldn't ask for more . . . It's working. So here's to the next 11 months . . . Onwards and upwards.
Ok, I was about to say goodnight. All is calm. All is bright . . .
. . . Now guess what? Geekster asked me earlier if he could have four (!) mates round for a sleepover for a late 13th birthday "do" . . . Erm? . . . . . No! "Ok we'll camp in the garden" . . . In February? I think not. Also, by the way, some of the (new) mates were sniggering that their "4" might be more like 7 and I heard a mention of beer . . . No. No. No. Forget it . . .
Later he said him and 2 others were staying at Cam's house. It wasn't Cam . . . but there does seem to be a lot of "Cam's" . . . What sort of a name is that? Cam. Ok. That's fine. . . .
Now . . . at ten to one (shit! . . is that the time?) someone has just burst out of the shed, which is built within the house, underneath my bedroom . . . and thrown up on the patio! they are in the fucking shed . . . I kid you not. The little
Before I go though . . . thanks to every reader. Little buggers the lot of them (Not you, them lot ;-)