Wednesday 15 February 2012

Hello, Hello, Hello . . . . O Hi!

Well I ventured out today for the first time in two weeks. I went to my Dr's appointment which was originally booked for yesterday but as I wanted to see the same Dr, I got it changed to today.  I went to the market with Mum to choose some wool so she can start knitting a new jumper for me . . . She has to have something to knit, a bit of a harmless, creative addiction really. Then I walked a hundred meters or so to Sainsbury's to get some "emergency" shopping.
A very mundane, eventless outing except . . . On four seperate occasions, four men, all in their late fifties, early sixties, all tall, a bit rugged and slightly bohemian looking (scruffy:-)) looked me very directly in the eyes and said "Hello" . . . Without any hesitation, questioning or doubt in their tone or expression.

I was kind of caught unaware each time and responded with a simple "Hi" but by the fourth time even Mum was baffled. "Are you sure you don't "know" these men?" she asked. One hundred percent sure, there was no way I had ever set eyes on any one of them. How bizarre.

Mum reckoned it was to do with a light in my eyes and face. An "openess" . . . Well it certainly  had nothing to do with two weeks unwashed/unbrushed hair, two weeks unplucked brows and whiskers ;-), No make -up, trackie bottoms and an oversized hoody . . . So who knows, maybe she's right. Maybe I have a spring in my step or am just "walking tall" . . . If I was alone I would 've thought I'd imagined it. Could I be projecting my newly re-discovered self?

O well whatever it was, it was the highlight of my day . . . I know, what does that say about my day? The Dr. was satisfied with my progress and didn't prescribe any further anti-biotics . . . Just a few more days of "taking it easy"  ;-) . . . I didn't tell her my news. It's almost as though it's so fragile that I feel the need to protect it . . . like a new-born baby. Also I would've been hurt to catch that raised eyebrows, pursed lips look of  "Hmmm yeah we hear this all the time from your sort"  . . . But that's ok, I've got plenty of time. I'll still need my weekly prescription of methadone until I decide whether to wean off to nothing or transfer to Suboxone once I'm down to 30mls methadone . . . I needn't do either for a while.

So that's it for today. I'm almost asleep. Proper food shopping tomorrow and I must clean out the hamsters. Bit of a boring post . . . Bit of a boring day :-)

Thanks as always to anyone reading this. I often enjoy checking out which countries I've had visitors from. I try to imagine the reader sat in India, Latvia, Russia etc. . . . Who are you? how was your day? I'm intrigued. All these different lives invisibly connected. Sweet dreams to all where the sun is setting and where the sun is rising . . .I hope your day is a good day. It's never half two?! . . . I'm gone.

18 comments:

  1. I really love reading your blog from here in N.Z. You seem such an open, honest person and I am sure you are projecting a new found lightness. I too am coming up for 50 this year, and have given my life a major shake up recently. Good luck to you, and I think you should be yelling about your accomplishment from the roof-tops, the more people you tell the more real it becomes.
    P.S. Hot and humid here, like wearing a wet blanket outside! Can't imagine snow ever in Auckland.
    Kiwigirl :)

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    1. Thanks Kiwigirl . . . Yeah I remember reading "Chez Gleds" (Not heard from him at all recently though I am still commenting over there) that you had come through some big changes . . . which is why I thought you had a blog. I know there's no logic there whatsoever really :-/
      I love the heat . . . I couldn't get enough of it in S'France but mostly I preferred the Alps so it was hot but "breathable".
      The only bit of New Zealand I've seen is where Lord of the Rings was filmed . . . Beautiful. I'm pleased you enjoy reading here and commenting. Thanks x

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  2. Not boring at all! I love that you are getting noticed - you must be more confidant and able to look people in the eye. You may be smiling to yourself - smiles are attractive. Just think what you'll be doing when you have yourself all done up!

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    1. Hey yeah . . Imagine the "ear to ear" smile when I get all my teeth! Strange that the referral came through this week for my dental work too :-) Now that will be worth smiling about when I've faced my fears of hospital/anaesthetic/false teeth etc etc . . . I can do it and I WILL do it. Thanks Jeannie

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  3. Of course they noticed you. A little bit of self confidence works wonders. You are no doubt standing just that little bit taller and Jeannie is right you may well be smiling to yourself. A real Mona Lisa smile.
    Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

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    1. Ahh Thanks . . . This is so lovely to come in from a huge 3 hour food shop . . . To sit down with my "milky" coffee and read these comments. I really do think of you as my friends.
      As you can probably imagine one doesn't make many friends in the "drug" circle . . . and some of the times I thought I had . . . I was proved wrong.
      I probably was "smiling along" without even knowing it.
      Thanks as always :-)

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  4. A calm, normal day....and you were noticed. Your spirit must be shining through. :o) Thanks for sharing with us. I am so happy for you.

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    1. Thanks Annette . . . I was real happy to read about your most recent meet with your daughter . . . We KNOW it will happen for her too. ALL things . . . not just some :-)

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  5. Not a boring day at all - that is a brilliant day - why did those men all say Hello? Who knows but I'd go with the newly radiated happiness of the new you. Honestly this post really made me smile, the little things that start to happen that you notice when you are no longer in the grip of "it"

    I had a post recently that got over 300 page hits and about 3 comments - who are the other 300 people and I wonder what they thought

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    1. Good that it made you smile . . . I almost didn't publish, so I'm glad I did now.
      It does make you wonder doesn't it? about all the "silent" readers.
      Wow . . . 300! that's a lot. Thanks as always x

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  6. Hiya Bugerlugs,
    Just been catching up. I'm so glad you,ve finally managed to begin on your journey again.
    "KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT" as my father used to say.
    catch ya later, Karlx

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    1. I'm hoping you've written a post . . . as I've been wondering how you doing? I'm off to check now.
      Thanks Karl and take care x

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  7. This was the opposite of boring my chickie! This is what I love to hear as I sit on my couch, back in my sweat pants (I just got out of a business suit and high heels *yuck*).

    Your day was filled with sunshine, just like you and I think it's fantastic!!

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    1. Yeah me too . . . back in my sweat pants, that is.
      I decided to make a massive effort and wear jeans to do the food shop (I know, talk about over-dressing ;-) I almost brushed my hair!) . . . But within 5 mins of getting home, those good ol' trackies were back on . . . Making it comfortable to eat at least 9 "rocky road bites" and "bite" doesn't paint a fair picture of the size really . . . Slobbing it. I best not turn into a pig here . . . I'm being very wary of my body/mind sneakily finding itself a new addiction to "transfer" to, without me noticing. As soon as I feel better I will get in there first with a healthy addiction . . . Weightlifting or some such . . . knitting? Maybe both. I'm beginning to ramble . . . It'll be 2am before I know it. Take care L

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    2. LOL - yeah, one thing at a time - weightlifting? Now that's pretty daring!! I'm thinking about getting into either tennis or racquetball with the hubby.

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    3. Yeah . . . I'm thinking it's gonna need to be something radical to get results. I did a "stint" of weights a few years back (so got all the equipment) and the changes were fast and rewarding. I've just gotta find some discipline now . . . Maybe not like now, soon will do.

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  8. I enjoyed reading about Gleds' hamsters when he had them. And it seems that you also have those little tubbies. Cool.

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    1. Hey I'm suddenly finding comments from you . . . Thanks. Yes that was what attracted me to Gled's blog initially . . . Hamsters and Heroin. The same species too. I so feel for him.

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