Whilst I have Geekster locked in, I have to get him to show me how to use the camera on his iphone then transfer the pictures to my laptop . . . another cable/lead to find. I know this sounds very straightforward and probably will be when we finally do it . . . So we just gotta get on and do it. . . . This week.
Basically what it amounts to is getting Geekster to stay in after school for an hour (or so), find the appropriate cables, slow down his brain and speech to accommodate my
I'm fed up of saying I will post a photo and not being able to do it . . . I want to do "before and after" photos of my garden, my teeth, my house . . . my life! and at the rate things are changing I need to start now to get the "before" ones done . . . Or at least this week.
Another good thing that came from me being in bed ill for almost two weeks . . . I lost 6 kgs! What a bonus. That's a good incentive to carry on and lose a bit more or at least keep those 6 kgs off. It's all in the right direction.
So there we go. Nothing major but these are my intentions for this week . . . along with staying clean. Now why do I feel like I have more chance of staying clean than getting some photos scanned and posted? Who'd have thought it.
Just briefly (whilst we're on the subject . . . The subject being staying clean in case you didn't notice me steering us there) it is really bothering me that some people don't believe me. I "get" that it shouldn't bother me . . . Or indeed, make any difference to me . . . But it does. I never did lie when I was using and I'm certainly not about to start now . . . And why would I? What's to be gained? My drugs worker did say "Don't expect other addicts to be pleased for you" which I do understand but . . . I'm not talking about other addicts here . . . Oh I don't know. I just don't get it.
Fortunately I have found some amazing people here who accepted, believed and encouraged me when I was using . . . and and are still doing just that. Thankyou. It means a lot to me that you, who were "strangers", read through my struggles, didn't judge, didn't doubt and helped me to believe it could happen. It has happened and each morning when I wake up and realise in those first few seconds that "it's gone" . . . I'm up and smiling :-) . . . If I was still using I wouldn't even be able to imagine how great this would feel. I couldn't make it up . . . I have to stop letting this bother me.
All I ask is if you think I'm lying please stop reading here . . . Why would you want to read the lies of a deluded junky pretending to be clean?
To all the rest of you from Bangladesh to Bangor . . . Sweet dreams and days. It's never two am? Again! Goodnight all x