Thursday, 6 October 2011

Good start?

Ok so not feeling quite so "unwell" today. Slight sick feeling  . .empty chocolate box. Well there were only 16. Only? Thats a whole other issue that needs to be dealt with . . .weight. Even the word looks foreign to me. I have never had any  . . .well basically anything to do with weight. Didn't even weigh myself until about a year ago. Roughly when "the drought" started . .The heroin drought. I could blame any number of things for this sudden 2 stone (!!) weight gain . . . .but that wont shift it will it? sitting on my (ever spreading) arse thinking of reasons why I might have gained 2 stone . .I could gain another one before I know it. God forbid. "It" has to go. I dont subscribe to this middle age spread shit either . . .I am not having it . .not a sodding ounce of it. I'm not sure yet how I'm, gonna get rid of it . . but I am .. .So thats on the list.
Heaps to do today  . . .I dont really want to deal with any of it. I want to go back to bed and close my eyes on it all, I know I cant. The worrying thing is that I'm already "bribing" myself into work. In the back of my scheming mind I am thinking . .If  I were to spring into action, grab the bull by the horns, and catch up on the unbelievable amount of washing, cleaning etc thats piled up while I had a few poorly days . . .then surely at the end of it all I would deserve a "reward". Yes I know I have to change what I see as a reward . . .but thats easy said. Do you know what one of my drugs "workers" suggested once as an alternative reward . . .A Manicure??? A fucking Manicure . . .And not even going for one . .a DIY jobby. Is that not just more work? Do I look like "nice" nails would make me feel rewarded?  C'mon . . .any suggestion has to be better than that.
Ok I'm at least gonna go and earn something by doing some work. Starting by cleaning a thin brown line (no not that sort) off the carpet, where my brothers bledy dog (who I have got for the day) has just shuffled along wiping his arse!!  O Lord yesterday started bad enough. I aint exactly house proud & even let him on my "nest" to sleep . .but dog shit?? thats just one of "those" gagging smells. I suppose it will get a cloth and cleaning stuff in my hands . . and who knows what that might lead to.

No comments:

Post a Comment