Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Well so much for a night off. It wasn't intentional, my Christmas stash ran out a little before predicted so I text "the man" yesterday at 5 ish giving myself plenty of time . . . Sorry "babe" I'm away till tomorrow night . . . . WHAAT??? First of all don't "BABE" me at the best of times. Even more so if you're about to let me down!! Secondly you aint sorry or you woulda let me know you were going so I could sort things before you went. I was not happy . . . I'm still not. I did try to make a good thing of it, to see it as a chance to do one night clean in the hope that more might follow . . . Fuck that. I feel CRAP. Worse thing is I have to go to my Bro's house at 2pm with the kids to see Sister-in-law's MUM?? Now why would I want to do that? To be given a pencil for Christmas? with some scripture stamped on it? Come on!? Pu-lease. I am SO NOT in the mood for that. I think it best if I don't go really. But I cant NOT go. O why has this happened?. Today of all the bastards. You see its not all plain sailing. Much as I like to think it is. ITS NOT. Just one hiccup is all it takes. Fucking Tightrope walking. C'mon Phone. Even the man from outta town who texts every day to say he's here for an hour . . . aint text today!! This is unreal. I know its sort of my own fault for doing extra smokes over Christmas or it would of lasted till tomorrow, but it IS Christmas and it was my only pressy to myself. It's not like I was out my face ignoring the kids or ote . . just a little mid-afternoon chill to help me put up with everyone! . . . and be a good hostess. Not only have I got to do my Brothers house "thing" I have to cook the full Christmas dinner when I get back as the last two days have been "open house buffet" . . . Two hours in a hot kitchen. I really am FUCKED. And I cant see a way round this at all. That's because there isn't one. O well. I will come back when I have something to say. Bollox.Wanker.