So I ask myself, After the birth of Hamper G at 44 when I was thoroughly exhausted, recovering from a Caesarean, pleurisy, pneumonia and still trying to maintain habit + methadone. I lost my libido (surprise, surprise!). I didn't make any effort to get it back. It didn't bother me in the least. After 32 years of being constantly sexually active I was quite glad of a break. So that's where the celibacy started . . . 2 years later (ish) periods started to be irregular and last January was my first month of "hot flushes". Gradual weight gain of 2 stone (!) over 18 months. Second month of hot flushes at the minute. The menopause has definitely kicked in. Was it due to lack of sex?
Is it a case of "use it or lose it"? As in, after 2 years of not "using it" did my body/brain think ok there's no need to carry on this reproductive milarky any more. Of course age has much to do with it. I'm not suggesting if someone is celibate at 20 they will hit the menopause. Did the on-set of the menopause (un-known to me at the time) cause the drop in libido etc. Or did the lack of sex/libido (at my age, due to illness etc. ) kick start the menopause? I suppose it matters not really. I just wondered. Whichever way, I don't like this menopause shit . . I don't suppose anybody does. Apart from no more periods. It's a high price to pay though. I hate the shape I have become . . . slow metabolism I'm informed. I'm not eating any more than I did or moving any less. No blood test results yet so don't know if it's the cause of hair loss but I suspect it is. It's my brain telling my body I don't need to be attractive anymore . . . which would make sense. You dont need that long thick hair, or a waist and some more whiskers on your chin wont hurt! How cruel is that? Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me there are women enjoying out there at 50+ enjoying good sex lifes (I don't want details :-) with
Maybe none of this should matter. Maybe it wont when I've got used to it. Maybe it's just the transition. Early days. The plus side is both times I've had a month of hot flushes it has been winter. Running out into the freezing cold morning, throwing off my dressing gown has been heaven. Big wow.
Ps. Who spies on these blogs? . . . Just as I'm editing now, an advert comes up at the side for a wrinkle cream that "made a 53 yr old woman look 30!!" . . . Of course it did. I might have lost libido, waist, hair and teeth . . . But I've still got most of my marbles.